To All My Rekindling Friends...

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

--Albert Schweitzer

RoadID

I've been thinking about getting myself a RoadID for a long while now, and I finally got off the dime and ordered one. It arrived earlier this week, and I can't believe I waited so long to get one. This is a very simple idea - basically, it's a nametag that comes in a variety of forms. I got the wrist ID, which is just a simple velcro bracelet with my emergency ID info engraved on it. If you aren't into the wrist thing, they've also got models that go around your ankle, or attach to you shoe. While I'm generally not into fear mongering, this really does just make sense, especially when out biking which takes me MANY miles from home.

With my order I received a $1 off coupon code to share - I'm sharing the sample email I received with the offer because it's so darn funny. I love giving my business to folks who have a sense of humor in addition to offering a great product.

Hey Everyone,

I just ordered one of the best products ever.  It's called a
Road ID - perhaps you've heard of it.  If you haven't, go to
their website and check it out.  Road ID is a great product
that could save your life someday.

When I ordered, they gave me a coupon that I could pass along
to my friends. Here's the coupon number:

Coupon Number:  ThanksMichelle334065

The coupon is good for $1 off any Road ID order placed by
01/14/2008.  To order, simply go to RoadID.com or click the
link below:

http://www.RoadID.com/?CID=ThanksMichelle334065

If you prefer, you can call them at 800-345-6335.

You can thank me later,

Michelle Spina

Oh by the way, their website is awesome, the customer
service is outstanding,and the owners are very smart and
good looking.

Be safe!

Finding Your "Why"

"Why are you doing this? There are just biking/running events out there, right? Why bother with the swimming if you don't enjoy it?"

This was the question posed to me by a dear friend as I was recounting the terror of my first open water swim during my first triathlon back in June. I'd been explaining that I had been swimming once a week with a small group from my Masters club in a local lake, to get over my irrational fear of swimming in open water, and that I was hating every second of those sessions.

"Then why do it? If it's not fun, just stop!"

Hmmm. Why WAS I doing this to myself? The experience at Mooseman in June was 0.9 miles of pure hell. I hated every second. Every SINGLE second I was miserable and terrified. The subsequent weekly lake swims were not much better. I was still experiencing the overwhelming irrational fear that something deep under the water, something that I couldn't see through the murky darkness, was going to reach up and drag me under. That's not fun, not in the least. Of course I KNEW there wasn't anything evil lurking in the murky darkness, but that didn't matter. When I was out there in the middle of the lake, the terror was real.

I thought about that conversation with John multiple times throughout the summer. Every Friday, in fact, as I was swimming in Mystic Lake, hating every second of it. Why? Why am I doing this? I didn't know at the time, all I knew was that I couldn't quit out of fear. I just couldn't. That was the only answer I could come up with. Just because.

Then one day, one particularly grey, cold, drizzly day, when I was swimming in Mystic Lake, something happened. Something huge. I was swimming, as usual, with my usual internal dialog going on: "This is stupid. Why are you doing this to yourself? You are in great shape, just keep strength training, biking and running, sign up for more 1/2 mary's and start full 'thon training, and that will be just fine. This tri stuff is BS..." This was going through my head, as I was swimming from buoy to buoy that morning, at 5:45am, in the rain. But .... after a while I thought: "Wow. Here I am, in calm and lovely Mystic Lake, at 5:45am, swimming from buoy to buoy without panic (nearly inconceivable a few weeks ago), in the rain. This is kind of cool. Huh. Perhaps this isn't so stupid after all!"

No panic that day. None. Not a bit. While I wasn't loving it, that day it was because I was getting tired easily (swimming a mile straight without stopping is hard work), not because I was worried that I was going to be sucked to the depths of the lake by something evil. I truly had not ONE bit of panic, which honest to goodness, was HUGE. Ever since I was a kid I've hated to be in open water over my head, even though I'm a strong swimmer (a deep pool is no problem - it's the blackness / bottomless pit feeling that freaks me out). I quickly get REALLY REALLY panicked, and simply have to get to a depth where I can stand. This was huge. HUGE!!!!!

That moment I turned a corner. Each lake swim got better and better, and soon I was really and truly ENJOYING those training days. A few weeks later during my next triathlon, I went on to take a full SEVEN MINUTES off my swim split. SEVEN MINUTES. Even better than the time was the fact that I was not in the least bit panicked, and I felt GREAT about my swim effort.

The next month I did it again at Lobsterman in freezing cold Casco Bay, on a very cold, drizzly, miserable day. I even thought as I saw the swim exit approaching that I was disappointed the swim leg wasn't longer, I was doing so well and enjoying it so much. Ha!

The sense of personal pride I felt at the end of the season was overwhelming. I had accomplished something amazing. I looked this demon straight in the face, a demon I've had since childhood, and pretty much beat the crap out of it. How? By gutting it out and NOT QUITTING, for no other reason than "just because."

I had found my "why!" By conquering this fear, I had found my why. It was about not giving up, not giving in, when it would have been SO easy to do so. It was about the sense of pride that one feels when something like that happens - when you rise above what is easy and comfortable to do something hard and uncomfortable - and find yourself on the other side the better for it.

I still need to thank John for that conversation. At the time of it's occurrence, it had messed with my head a bit. I'm not sure I would have realized what I accomplished this summer if I hadn't been thinking for a good part of the summer about "why."

So, thanks John. Thanks for helping me to find my "why." I look forward to our next long chat over dinner. Let's see what else you can help me discover.

I'm Crooked!

I'm crooked. So says my Physical Therapist today. I apparently have a slight, but noticeable bend in my spine, somewhere in the c9/c10 region. Oddly, I'm not the typical "S" shape that is common with a slight case of scoliosis. I just bend once - I'm straight, then I take a turn, then I'm straight again. Weird.

Oh, and my left calf is "clearly, substantially more developed than my right." How have I left the house each day, such an obscene mess? I'm lucky I haven't been frightening children as I walk down the street!

So as you can surmise, I had my first PT session today, and apparently I'm a walking disaster. However, my freakish abnormalities may have absolutely nothing to do with my calf issue, and are just a part of my charm. We don't know yet. Either way, I'm adding additional yoga days to my schedule. Crooked spine. Substantially uneven calf development. Harumph.

The good news is that there doesn't seem to be anything horribly wrong with my calf. I've got a variety of stretches (Oh - did I mention that my legs and especially my calves are extremely tight? Crooked spine, unbalanced AND tight calves - when will the list end?) to do as well as a few strengthening exercises to encourage blood flow to the area. The current hypothesis is that I've got minor muscle tearing as the soleus muscle meets the achilles tendon. That area doesn't get much in the way of blood flow, so it's slow to heal. We are working on things to help encourage blood flow to speed up the process, as well as work on flexibility and strengthening of the area.

I meet with my PT again on Thursday - I wonder what else we'll find wrong with me? Stay tuned to find out!

Meet Reagan!

I'd like to introduce you all to a truly amazing little girl, Reagan. Reagan is 13 months old, and is about to be famous - she had the largest hiatal hernia her surgeon had ever seen in a child OR an adult. Seven times the normal size!

Reagan was born 5 weeks early, and had to spend the first few weeks of her life in the hospital. However, she progressed quickly and was a perfectly happy and healthy baby, home with her wonderful parents in short order. While she was on the small side, that was to be expected given her early arrival. At her 7 month check-up, however, her pediatrician became concerned as they found that she hadn't gained any weight in 2 months. Something was definitely up. She had a follow-up X-ray which revealed that she did indeed have some troubles - her stomach and part of her intestines were up in her chest cavity, rather than in her abdomen, where they belong! There were 3 possible reasons for this:

1. A hiatal hernia. The hiatus is the opening in the diaphram that allows the esophagus to pass through the chest cavity into the abdomen. If this opening is large enough, contents from the abdomen can make their way into the chest cavity.
   
2. A Morgangi's hernia. This is a condition where there is a second opening in the diaphram, allowing abdomen contents to get into the chest cavity.
3. A stretched or loose diaphram, which would allow the stomach to make its way into the chest.
   

The only way for the doctors to make a diagnosis was surgery - they'd go in laproscopically to see which of the 3 options was causing the problem, then they'd fix it.

The good news was that Reagan was otherwise a very happy and healthy baby! While her parents were of course worried and nervous about her upcoming surgery, Reagan was doing very well.

Surgery was this August, and it was successful! I can't possibly do the story justice, so I'm including the email written by Reagan's parents the day after her surgery:

First of all, thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts, words, and prayers. It has meant so much to Melanie and I and we feel so lucky to know how many people care about Reagan.

For those of you who are looking for a quick update:

Reagan endured 12 hours of surgery yesterday but the surgery at this point appears to be a success. It appears now that she is alert and in some pain, but doing very well and they intend to move her to the inpatient floor later today.

For those of you who prefer all the detail, here it goes:

Reagan had her last real formula bottle at 9PM Saturday and was restricted to clear fluid after that. We were admitted to the hospital on Sunday at about noon. We were placed in a single inpatient room. About mid-afternoon, they placed an IV to keep her hydrated and given a tube in her nose. For 4 hours she was given a solution called "Go Lightly" to clear her bowels. She tolerated everything surprisingly well. Very little crying, she seemed content playing quietly and watching a Baby Einstein video over and over again. She fell asleep at about 8PM and actually slept through 2 enemas and tolerated the third with little crying. She then slept through the night in her Mom's arms. Needless to say, Melanie slept very little. I was able to get a few hours here and there.

At about 6:45 AM the nurse took us to the pre-operation holding area. We met the entire surgical team, had the procedure explained to us again, signed some releases. As they were reviewing the risks again, I have to say we were both pretty upset. At almost exactly 7:30 AM a young anesthesiologist asked us if we thought Reagan would prefer to ride in the bed or be carried into surgery. Thinking I would be able to carry her, I said, "carried". Well, to my surprise and Reagan's the doctor held out his arms, I gave him Reagan and off she went. Very quickly and with little crying from her that we heard. Obviously a hard moment for us.

Children's Hospital is amazing about how they plan for the support of the parents and not just the children. We were walked into the waiting room by a very friendly nurse named Sheila. It was Sheila's job to check in with the Surgical team every 60 to 90 minutes and give us an update. She took our cell phone numbers and we were able to spend our time in other parts of the hospital. There is a very nice garden area within the hospital and we sat there, read, talked, and ate from about 8AM until 1:30PM at which point it started raining. We then spent some time sitting in the cafeteria before moving up to the waiting room at about 4PM. We had constant updates telling us she was doing really well, vital signs were very strong, surgery was progressing well.

After about 9 hours of hearing everything was going well, no issues, we started to get a little concerned. We had been told the surgery would last 4 to 10 hours and we were quickly approaching the 10 hour mark with the nurse telling us they still did not have a timetable for finishing. At about 5PM, the surgeon himself came out to talk to us.

We learned that Reagan did in fact have a hiatal hernia. The surgeon said it was the largest he had ever seen in a small child and bigger than most of those found in adults, 6 to 7 times its normal size. You could literally put your entire fist through the opening. Her stomach, small intestines and some large intestines were in her chest cavity. Further the stomach was inverted and backwards. He said it took them 8 hours just to move everything back to where it was supposed to be and repair the hole. He was unable to learn if it was congenital or developed after birth. It was so severe that he was very concerned it would be very likely to re-occur.

As a result, he wanted to use a gastronomy tube, G-Tube, to anchor the stomach down to the abdominal wall and give the surgery adequate time to heal and give her the best chance of avoiding a reoccurence. This small tube passes from her stomach to the outside of her body, so a side benefit is that they will probably use it to give her supplemental night feedings to help her growth catch up. She will have this tube for at leat 6 months, maybe as long as 1 year. It will extend long for about 12 weeks and then they will trim it back to be close to her skin. Our pediatrician called us later in the night and said that they were actually quite common for other reasons and no big deal. The pediatrician has many kids with G-Tubes. That being said we were expecting to leave here with all this behind us, but I am sure this will mean some extra precautions and follow-ups.

After explaining this to us, he went back into surgery, did the Nissan fundiplication, attached the G-Tube, closed her up and finsihed about 7:30PM. She was moved to the ICU, stabilized and we were finally able to see her at about 9PM. They had removed the breathing tube and she was breathing completely on her own, she had a tube in her nose to collect stomach fluids. She had an IV in each of her feet and all the electrodes stuck to her body to monitor her vitals. She has 4 laproscopic incisions during the surgery and the hole for the tube, so a total of 5 small openings. They will scar, but likely fade over time.

When we first saw her she was still asleep and on morphine for the pain. Very peaceful looking. By about midnight I would say she was aware we were there but quite sleepy. By this morning I would say she is completely alert and aware of her surroundings. Unfortunately that means she can feel some pain and has been quite uncomfortable this morning. The morphine helps.

So we are very happy to report the surgery appears to be successful, they just took the tube out of her nose as I was typing this. We will be moved to the inpatient floor and the room she will stay in for the rest of her time at the hospital later this morning. She is definitely in pain, as you would expect, but that should improve over the coming days. Given her young age she should heal very quickly. We have no timetable as of yet for when we will be leaving, but will try to share updates when we can.

I expect the next couple days will be hard as she struggles with the discomfort, becomes frustrated with the wires attached to her body, and begins to feel up to some playing. At some point she will also start feeding again which I expect will take some getting used to.

This experience has given us both a new appreciation for doctors, nurses and surgeons. The amazing work they do and how friendly most of them are is such a gift. Children's Hospital is really an amazing place. We feel so lucky to live in the Boston area and have access to such amazing resources. Being around here, it is obvious how many people are not from the local area and the families do not have the close support we have. In doing some research about our stay, I did learn Children's Hospital has purchased a mansion not far away which they will be converting into a home for out of town parents. Many of you have expressed interest, so here is the link: http://www.chtrust.org/nationalruns/default.asp?Page=kentstreet08.

Thanks again to everyone for everything. All your support has really helped us.

Three months later, and Reagan is doing incredibly well - at her last check-up, she had made her way onto the weight chart for the first time in her life! Woo Hoo! It will be a while yet before her "button" is removed, but both she and her parents are adjusting very well. It's a thrill for me to be running for both Lauren and Reagan, two amazing success stories from Children's Hospital. I know that Keith and Melanie, Reagan's parents, are looking forward to being where we are now - surgery a distant memory, with a perfectly normal little girl living life to its fullest. All thanks to the amazing doctors, nurses, and administrators at Children's Hospital. It's almost eerie reading Keith and Melanie's thoughts - their experience was so very similar to ours, and their feelings toward Children's echo ours exactly. I'm incredibly thankful to have the opportunity to be associated with such an amazing place through their Miles for Miracles program.

Fundraising Progress

I want to thank everyone who has so quickly contributed to the Miles for Miracles program. I've clearly surpassed my required $500 by December 10 as you can see from my progress bar above, and I'm so very grateful to all who helped get me past this important milestone.

As the holidays are quickly approaching (by the way, am I the only one completely BLOWN AWAY by the fact that it's Thanksgiving next week? How can that be???), I'm not making any big fundraising pushes until after the new year. Although if you are in need of a last minute charitable donation for 2007, I've got an idea for you!

However, I'd like to remind everyone of the purpose of all of those potentially annoying ads shown on the right of this blog. When you are shopping for holiday gifts, I encourage you to use these links to get to your shopping destination. For example, the Search Amazon link will get you access directly to ANYTHING on Amazon. My blog account gets a small commission from each purchase (you do NOT pay extra for this - these are simply commission links - you go directly to the sites listed as if you would have gone there directly).



As I mentioned previously, I'll be donating ALL of the proceeds from these links to the Miles for Miracles program. So, you'll be doing your on-line shopping, just as you would have ANYWAY, and you are donating to a great cause along the way.

Again, a huge thank you to everyone who has helped out already. If you haven't been able to contribute yet, no worries - I'll be sending out periodic reminders throughout the next 5 months. There is PLENTY of time to help out!

On Getting Older...

Forgive me in advance for what is going to be a bit of a "Jack Handy-esque" post. I mentioned a few weeks back that the reason this was the year to run Boston was because the race is a week before my birthday, and this year I turn (gulp) 40. I thought it would be a bit poetic to essentially thumb my nose at that particular milestone. How can turning 40 be all that bad if I had literally just run a marathon?

While I'm really not all THAT concerned about the number, it's still a milestone, as far as age goes. And according to conventional wisdom, it's the year you start falling apart. While I don't really believe all that bunk, 40 definitely has a ring of .... oldness to it. Kids think you are a dinosaur, and that you can't possibly relate to what they are going through. Bag boys at the grocery store call you ma'am. That kind of thing. Yikes.

Well, I'm over it, as of last night. My husband and I went to see Annie Lennox in concert at Boston Symphony Hall, and I'm now heartily convinced that it's possible to actually get cooler as you age. Annie's been at the rock n roll gig for a LONG time now - I was rockin' with the Eurythmics back in early high school, shortly after she formed the band with Dave Stewart in 1980. TWENTY SEVEN YEARS AGO! And she's not only still going strong, she's ..... AMAZING! She really just rocked the house last night - the energy in Symphony Hall was truly amazing, and she was an incredible presence on stage. One seriously cool chick, that Annie. One seriously cool chick at 50-something.

This concert on the heels of a similar experience last year when we saw Bonnie Raitt in concert, who I found truly IS the epitome of cool. The Queen of Cool, if you will. At 60-something.

I'm realizing that while it might take a bit more work to stay feeling hip as you start hitting these age milestones, there is really no reason you have to curl up in a ball and give up, just because of a number.

So, I still think it's awesome that I'm running Boston the week before I turn 40. But the difference is now, I think I'll be running to 40, rather than away from it.

Week One, in the Bag!

What a week! You all heard how excited I was to get back at "real" training again, and this week did not disappoint! It was an easier than normal week as my coach eased me back into the rigors of my usual schedule, but it felt SO good to be back on my bike and getting some good runs in. Other than just getting the fire back, moments of particular note this week:

1. Two runs in my Newtons! The first run was early in the week, and to be honest, I wasn't so sure about these after that first run. They were fine, but .... I was looking for more than fine after spending double what my usual shoes cost (and my usual shoes aren't particularly inexpensive!). But, I knew that there was a break-in period with these shoes, and they have a 30 day return policy, so I was going to continue to give them a shot. Today was my second run in them, and I'm feeling MUCH more excited! I had an easy 30 minute run on the schedule, and I found it VERY difficult to a) keep my pace where I should have been running - my legs wanted to go FAST!, and b) to stop after just 30 minutes. I just felt REALLY good - leg turnover was really, really quick, and my feet and legs felt cheetah-like. Good, good stuff! So I'm now actually pretty excited about these shoes and am really looking forward to seeing how they feel on longer runs.
   
2. Two great rides on the bike - both on the trainer as I had to get them in very early in the morning (pre-dawn). The first was a nice technique focused workout, with lots of one-legged drills and high cadence spinning. I used my aerobars quite a bit and L O V E D them. The second workout was an aerobic ride on Saturday (an hour + warm-up / cool-down), with 10 second pick-ups every 5 minutes - I was watching "Without Limits" in the background, which is a decent little movie about the great distance runner Steve Prefontaine. I watched until he took 3rd in the Berlin Olympics (he is NOT a guy who liked to lose!) - I'm looking forward to finishing the movie during one of my upcoming indoor rides. Great motivation for background viewing.
   
3. I'm totally digging the kettlebell workouts. I took a 1-on-1 session at a gym in Worchester to make sure that my form was good, and for help on some moves that I was having trouble with, and it was well worth the trip. I learned a lot, had fun, and got in a nice workout. Can't beat that! And, I came home with a 35# bell, which is super cool.
   

This week kicks it back up to normal training volume - back to lots of double days (i.e., bike in the AM, run in the PM). I'm psyched!

I'd like to give a BIG thank you to everyone who quickly helped me to meet (and surpass) my December fundraising requirement! I'm sure I'll be able to meet my overall goal by the race.

In other news, I just received information about my patient partner. I'll be contacting her parents today to learn more about her, and will post back with details shortly. I'm really looking forward to meeting them at the upcoming Miles For Miracles team kick-off party in early December. I felt very strongly about being paired up with a patient to help make my training feel more purposeful - I can't wait to learn more about her.

And It Begins!

Woo Hoo! My "time off" is officially OVER!!!!!!! After the pretty intense end to my summer / early fall racing (it still makes me chuckle to talk about *my* racing season - makes me sound like such an athlete, doesn't it?) I had 3 weeks of "fun" planned in my schedule by my coach to allow me to recoup physically and mentally. No running, no biking, no swimming, but I could do anything else - pretty much whatever I wanted. And I did have fun revisiting some old workouts that I haven't used in a while, and discovered some new great ones, as I mentioned in my previous post.

It was fun, but I was close to losing my mind! I'm SO ready to get back to "real" training again, especially to start ramping up for the marathon. I'm just so darned excited about the whole thing, I can barely contain myself!!!!!!

This week I ease back into the swim/bike/run schedule, and I'm just itching to get on my bike tomorrow (Monday is my rest day)! And, as if it were fate, my Newton's arrived today!!!! I've got a run scheduled for Wednesday, and while it is killing me to wait, I'll have to wait. My coach, after all, might read this blog now and again, so I've got to be good. :)

So hold onto your hats boys and girls, It Begins!

Strength Training Fun

I'm in the last days of my "workout for fun" period, which has helped me to recoup physically and mentally from my race season. It's been SO much fun revisiting some of my old workout "buddies" - workouts and instructors that I used to do regularly, that I haven't touched in many months, and discovering new instructors that I haven't really worked with before.

I found two new workouts worth noting. First, Cathe, the undisputed Queen of advanced home exercise videos, has come out with a new series - the Four Day Split. As the name implies, there are 4 distinct workouts in the series, each about an hour long with 30 minutes of cardio followed by 30 minutes of weight training for a particular body part. The weight training uses HEAVY weights, as you are only hitting each body part 1x/week - you've got to just nail it hard. The split breaks down as follows: High Intensity Step / Chest & Back; Low Impact Step / Shoulders & Core; Cardio Kickbox / Legs & Core; Bootcamp / Bi's & Tri's. This is a GREAT series - the cardio is all really fun, particularly Bootcamp which is just a party in a box, and the weight work is TOUGH, but super effective. I like the efficiency of this series, and will use the weight work in particular often.


Amy Bento has also come out with The Challenge Series, and I picked up her Slo-Mo Strength Challenge. This is another multi-workout DVD (I'm really liking this new trend - multiple workouts that work well together so you can create a week-long rotation that covers all body parts) that's set up as a 3 day split: Lower Body; Back & Shoulders; Chest, Bi's & Tri's. In addition, there is a separate ab routine that you can tack on as you'd like. She's also got a huge variety of additional pre-mixes created from the primary routines, so you can do a full UB workout one day, or a total body workout (of various length options). The DVD is VERY flexible - there are an amazing number of ways you could structure a schedule using this. Amy is a great instructor, and she's introduced a number of really interesting twists. I did the Back & Shoulder workout yesterday, and WOW - both parts got worked incredibly well, and it was a lot of fun. I'm nicely sore today, and am looking forward to trying out another workout later this afternoon.

Let's see if I can finally get some meat on my puny shoulders from one of these heavy lifting series!

I highly recommend both of these instructors and these particular workouts - give them a try if you are looking for a new challenge, especially if you like or want to try split training (which I happen to find incredibly effective). Check out Cathe or Amy's site for more information on the workouts (including video clips), or buy both at the Advanced Workouts site.

Happy lifting!

"I was one tough baby! Don't mess with me."

Doing this run for Children's has made me think about Lauren's time there. As I mentioned in an early post, she had open heart surgery to repair a birth defect when she was 4 months old, and as you can imagine, that experience was trying. Thankfully, the surgery was a huge success and Lauren has absolutely NO side-effects or limitations - she's 100% a perfectly normal 5 year old girl. I often joke that the surgery helped to make her tough as nails - she really is one tough little girl.

Here's a blurb that I wrote a few weeks after we returned from the hospital. I thought you all might be interested in seeing it for the first time, or again for those who were involved at the time...

A Mommy’s Thoughts

First, we would like to thank everyone for all of your support through all of this. Your kind words, thoughts, and prayers were so very appreciated, and helped us more than you will ever know. This was incredibly difficult for us, but knowing that we had many people pulling for Lauren was very comforting.

Now that it’s all over, I wanted to put everything down before it was a distant memory. I learned a lot over the 5 days that we were in the hospital, and I don’t want to forget anything. Some random thoughts about the experience:

• Handing your child over for surgery is probably one of the hardest things a parent can do. On Friday morning, when we were at home getting ready to head to the hospital, I seriously considered packing a bag and just stealing Lauren away. Driving to Florida and assuming a new identity seemed like a very reasonable idea. I had to try very hard to remember that she needed this surgery and that it was for the best. I spent a lot of time kissing her perfect little chest that morning, realizing that it was the last time it would look like that. Lauren was so happy and calm that morning – she only started to fuss when it was LONG past her breakfast time. It was difficult for me to hold her, because what she wanted was to nurse, and I couldn’t do it. After her vitals were taken, Lauren was given a mild sedative to relax her so that her IV could be placed. She was so calm and happy, and was chewing on her fist while I rocked her in the pre-op area. It was nearly impossible for me to hand her over to the anesthesia team. I found that I couldn’t breathe, and was nearly hysterical. Thankfully, Bob was somewhat more composed than I, and he was able to hold me up. If I never feel that way again, it will be too soon.

• Waiting for updates from surgery was surreal. We knew theoretically what was happening to Lauren, and getting the updates was like a strange dream. The incision has been made (“Oh my God, someone has cut open my baby”). She’s now on the heart-lung machine (“My baby’s heart has been stopped, and a machine is in it’s place”). The hole is repaired (“Her heart has been stitched”). She’s now off the heart lung machine (“Her stopped heart was restarted”). They are closing. She’s ok. When the surgeon came out to tell us how everything went, I nearly hugged him as he told us that Lauren was doing well, and that it was all over.

• As techno-weenie geeks, Bob and I had a very difficult time not feeling in command of the situation in the hospital. As we waited in the ICU parent’s room, we felt tortured that we couldn’t see Lauren right away. An hour turned into nearly three, and we were getting downright panicked. We later heard that Lauren’s breathing tube had fallen out, and she had to be reintubated. When we were finally able to see Lauren, we were both taken aback by how she looked. She had a breathing tube taped to her mouth, a tube in her nose, measurement stickers on her forehead, a line into her neck, lines in both hands, two chest tubes draining from her chest cavity, a number of cardiac lines in her chest, and of course, the incision (which was bandaged at the time). She had blood caked on most of her surgical tape, and smeared on her nose, which was bleeding slightly. It was horrible. But, she was ok! We tried to keep perspective, and trusted the staff when they told us that she was doing great, regardless of how we felt when we saw her.

• Soon after we saw Lauren in ICU, a problem came up – she was not responding favorably to the pacemaker. A pacemaker was used to up her heart rate a bit, as this was supposed to help her. The increased heart rate was causing an irregular rhythm and a higher than desired blood pressure. Although her natural heart rate was quite a bit lower than the doctor’s would have liked (high 70’s, rather than 130’s), she seemed to do better without the pacemaker. She was then set to use the pacemaker only if her own heartrate dropped below 60. While everyone assured us that this was a common response, and that she’d most likely be absolutely fine, we were terrified. We spent the rest of the night on Friday watching her monitor, obsessing over her numbers. Finally, the staff convinced us to go home and get some rest, as Lauren would be heavily sedated the entire evening. As hard as it was to leave her, she was under fabulous care, and we desperately needed some rest.

• The next day it was slightly easier to see Lauren. The measurement stickers that were on her forehead were removed, so she looked a bit more like our girlie-girl. By later that afternoon, she had opened her eyes. As wonderful as this was, it was also incredibly difficult, as she looked at us with pleading eyes that simply screamed “help me.” She was clearly very upset with the breathing tube. Thankfully, the tube was removed later that evening, and she was breathing on her own very well. That afternoon her chest tubes were also removed, which was another relief. She was still quite sleepy however. Finally, at just after midnight, Lauren woke up, and she was HUNGRY! She was able to nurse without any problems. Although it was terrifying to hold her, and it was difficult with all of the wires, it was absolutely wonderful to hold her again.

• Things just got better after Saturday evening. Lauren nursed like a champ every 3 hours, and although she was having trouble keeping the milk down (she had a lot of gunk in her stomach and lungs), it was actually helpful for her to vomit to rid herself of the gunk. She was ready to move to the regular floor by mid-afternoon on Sunday, and she was nearly back to her normal, happy self. By Monday, she really was back to her old self, and we felt quite wonderful. Seeing her incision after her bandage was removed was incredibly difficult, but knowing that she was fine helped to calm us by that point.

• It’s amazing how perspective can help make you feel better, even when you feel like things couldn’t be worse. Whenever we were really down and feeling sorry for ourselves, we saw others in more difficult situations. We noticed two newborns in the ICU, yet unnamed. We couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult it would be to have your newborn whisked away for surgery and the ICU. We saw a mother of one of these babies who was pumping for her son. I’m on my second nursling, and have pumped while at work without any problems, and I found full-time pumping to be awful. Managing this while your milk is coming in, and you are recovering from childbirth, and your baby is in intensive care is too much to contemplate. We also met a few parents who were at the hospital for the second time, and who had more visits in the future. Thankfully, Lauren’s visit should be her last.
  

We are now at home, and Lauren is our girlie-girl! Her newly fixed
heart has apparently made her hungry as a bear, as she is now eating nearly constantly. We would not be surprised if she suddenly climbs the weight charts, and her multiple chins are truly adorable! I am treasuring the time I have with her sleeping and nursing in my arms, free from wires and tubes. Hopefully she will view her scar as a badge of honor.

“I was one tough baby! Don’t mess with me.”

Matching Gift Programs

I found out some information regarding how to handle matching gift programs that I'd like to pass along. If your company has a matching gift program (check with someone in HR if you are not sure), please be sure to take advantage of this program as it will effectively double the impact of your contribution!

Somewhere on the matching gift form be sure to specify the following information - you are contributing to Children's Hospital Boston, and you need to additionally specify somewhere on the form (they differ from company to company, so I can't give any more specifics here...) that you are supporting Michelle Spina / Boston Marathon.

Then send the form to:

Stacy A. Devine
Special Events Officer
Children's Hospital Trust
1 Autumn Street #731
Boston, MA 02215
(617) 355-2896
(617) 355-6530 (fax)

Thanks to everyone who has already supported my effort! It's exciting to see my little "runner" progress bar get closer to my goal. I appreciate your generosity.

My Latest Fitness Obsession: Kettlebells!

I'm sure you are all aware of the importance of strength training for overall fitness, but it's also extremely important to keep up a solid strength training routine while focusing on endurance events (like the marathon!) as well! Strength training can reduce your risk of injury, repair muscular imbalances caused by running, and improve running efficiency. All good stuff.

The key is to train in a functional way - multi-joint movements that require you to stabilize your core while you lift. While I definitely love the "traditional" gym style methods of lifting (think about isolated moves like bicep curls and leg extensions), it's time to move toward a more functional way of training. I'm finding that the absolute ULTIMATE in functional fitness is kettlebell training! This funky thing on the left here is a kettlebell - my husband calls mine a cannonball with a handle, which pretty much sums it up! They come in a variety of sizes (I have a set of 3 - 15#, 18# and 26#). You work out with them in very active ways - a key move in kettlebell training is the swing, where you hold onto the handle with both hands, and force the bell to swing up to shoulder height by quickly and powerfully snapping your hips as you come up to a standing position from a squat. Sounds easy, right? But when you perform the move with a heavy bell repeatedly - look out! It's an awesome, highly efficient workout.

I've been doing plenty of fairly heavy duty weight training over the years, but kettlebell training has taken me back to a beginner level again! It takes balance, coordination (yes, you probably SHOULD be fearing for my safety given my lack of coordination!) and overall strength. It's also just a HECK of a lot of fun. Seriously, what's not fun about swinging a cannonball around?

Luckily, there are a some workout DVD's out there that are amazing, so I can easily do this at home. I started with the "Kettlebell Goddess Workout"which in addition to having a cool name (with workouts included titled "Nike," "Athena," and "Callipygos" - how fun is that???). I'm now working my way through the Art of Strength series, which is a fairly serious step up in intensity.

I have a personal training session with an instructor in two weeks. I'll be sure to let you know how it goes, and if I come home with the 35# bell I'm just DYING to get next!

Let's see if this can help get me to the starting line in Boston fast, and injury free!

Amazon Store / Fundraising

You have probably noticed the Amazon store links over on the right side section of this blog. I've got a store that I had put together a while back as a pet project, which is chock full of all of my favorite training tools. I've got everything from my favorite nutrition products, favorite electronic training aids to workout DVD's listed. If you can't find something you are looking for, use the Amazon Search box provided just below the store link to search the entirety of Amazon.com.

To encourage you all to use the links here on my blog for your upcoming holiday shopping, I'll be donating all the proceeds from purchases made via this blog to the Miles for Miracles fundraising effort!

So please, purchase away! In addition to getting the great stuff you were going to purchase ANYWAY, you'll be helping to raise money for a great cause.

Both Children's Hospital and I appreciate the help.

Gear Hound

Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE the latest gear gadget. I simply need the latest training tool / item of clothing / shoe / whatever-the-rage-is! It's an illness, really. But all in the name of fitness, so it's perfectly justifiable! That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

My latest obsession is a new running shoe, the Newton. The theory is that the shoe puts you in a position to encourage a forefoot strike, rather than the more injury-prone and less efficient heel-strike. On top of sounding like pretty cool technology and high praise from regular folks as well as pros (who am I to question Ironman Champion Michellie Jones???), it's wicked cool looking. Seriously, take a look at this beauty:

So, if it doesn't make me actually run any faster, it will at the very least, make me look like a total stud while I'm plugging along at my usual pace. I'll take it.


I'll provide my review of the shoe when it arrives (yes, I actually ordered a pair, ridiculous price aside!) and I take it for a spin.

The Road to Boston!

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!

That was my first thought as I opened the email from the Children's Hospital Boston Miles for Miracles Team. I was chosen!

Let's go back a ways..... I've been a runner, for, well, forever really. I didn't ever give much thought to running a marathon until recently. I was perfectly happy with my usual 4-5 mile runs, and when I did work up to a 10 mile long run I felt like that distance was a major accomplishment. More than double it? Crazy talk. Then I started training with a wonderful bunch of folks in town, and the questions began: "How long have you been running? Have you ever run a marathon? Do you want to?" Well, you hear those questions over and over again, while you watch people who seem quite normal, with lives and jobs and children, who have run not one, but MANY marathons, and you think it's not such a nutty idea.

"I'll run Boston someday."

The Boston Marathon is typically 1-2 weeks before my birthday in April, so at some point "someday" turned into "the year I turn 40." I thought it would be a fun way to basically thumb my nose at the whole turning 40 thing: "Who cares? I just ran a marathon! I am all that and a bag of chips!" What a GREAT idea, I thought, when I was in my early 30's and the big year was so very far away. Yes, it's a great idea, and I will do it.

It's here. The year I turn 40 is HERE. And with it comes a vague memory of a thought I had many years ago. "I'll run Boston the year I turn 40." Well, crap. What have I gotten myself into? I'm happily entrenched in triathlon training, which I started just a year ago, and I had a great first season. I can't possibly derail my tri training with this silly proclamation I made years ago, can I? So I begin to push the memory back from where it came, and was going to dump the idea. Or at least modify it. Yeah, running the year I turn 43 or something isn't nearly as snappy as the big four-oh, but it'll have to do.

But the niggling thought wouldn't go away. It was too perfect, really. The race is exactly a week before my birthday this year. Then I started chatting with a friend about her experience running Boston a few years ago, and find out that she ran with the Miles for Miracles team put together by Children's Hospital. I was a goner. Our family has strong ties to Children's Hospital, as our daughter had open heart surgery to repair a heart defect there when she was 4 months old. I'd happily give them my left arm if they asked for it, for all that they did for us. Run a few miles, and raise a few dollars? That would make them happy? Count me in.

So I filled out the application, spent a lovely hour on the phone with the coordinator of the team, and I waited for 2 weeks until the email came.

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Now, here I am, taking a few weeks to recoup from my recent 1/2 marathon last weekend before I start training for Boston.

Wow.